Mar. 22nd, 2013

msfledermaus: (Mausi with bag)
Yeeees, I'm still going with this horrible, squicky thing. I'm a little proud I got this far, though it's been in small installments balanced out with Michael Pollan's "Omnivore's dilemma" to chase out the stupider bits. I present to you yesterday's posting...

"Today's shot of squick from 50 Shades of Awful: Creeper Grey gives Miss Flubsy a big, long,manipulative, sinister contract to sign. You know, so she knows he won't hurt her. Because the nice piece of legally unenforceable paper says so. And then when Flubsy starts going, "Um...I don't think this is my bag" Creeper gets all stalkery again, because he never got the "No means No" memo from all us womenfolk. I know this is supposed to be sort of a Beauty and the Beast kind of thing, but it only works if the Beast is actually a human being inside. Otherwise, you get the Werewolf story, which has a very different ending. So I started adding extra bits of plot while I was reading, like, "And then she said, "Sorry, I'm not available this weekend, I'm helping my brother show off his army of killer robotic toys. Don't call me, I'll call you. Or not..."

And then there's this morning's post, after a late-night cram session which probably wasn't the best idea...

"Even though I'm still exhausted from last nights shift at the Jade Mines, where several Ghost Busters ran past me with blinky lights, I have a new installment of Fifty Shades of Cringe for you. The Story So Far: Miss Flubsy graduates from college, where Creepy McCreeper improbably charms the socks off her dad. Then there's lots of back and forth emailing with smiley faces and everything. Then some more manipulative crap that makes Miss Flubsy a quivering mass of confused protoplasm. So far my favorite quote besides, "Oh Myyyyy" in this horrible book is Creeper taking Miss Flubsy's hand off his chest. "Why don't you want me to touch you?" she asks poignantly. "Because I'm fifty shades of messed up." Creeper replies. I could almost hear the rim-shot in my head. Ugh..."

I really hope there's more inadvertent funny bits coming up, because there's only so much I can take, and I'm almost finished with the Smart Book I was reading to help my brain recover. *whimper*

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