Bear suit!

Nov. 16th, 2011 08:00 am
msfledermaus: (Default)
Yesterday was a strange, strange day...It's gotten much colder out, so we've been getting more of our share of crazy at the Mines recently. We've gotten so many problem crazies that I've been making flash-cards, so the guards can tell who's who and what they may try to do. (For example, Crazy #4 harasses women in the gift shop, while Crazy #7 harasses male guards in the smoking areas. Stuff like that.)

Usually there's some inventive clothing as well...one of my all-time favorites is Drunken Dumbledore, who likes to come in wearing natty sixties suits with bell-bottoms and big ties, some kind of headband, and occasionally a towel that's doubling as a cape. He keeps trying to smuggle bottles of vodka into the galleries. But other people come in with the occasional sartorial splendor, like the Indiana Jones impersonator complete with small toy whip, or the tall mustachioed fellow in the blue sequined cocktail gown with the heels and great legs. Also, we have a very nice performance artist in, walking very very slowly in a gorgeous, undulating blue robe that looks like it would be so soft to touch...

But yesterday! Yesterday takes the cake...because we had a man come in wearing a bear suit. With a ukelele. There were some kinds of photos pinned to his bear-suit, that nobody could make out very well. Also, close-up viewers were pretty sure the guy only had one arm. I saw him from afar, silhouetted by a window, and I thought,"Nice bear hat...wait, he's kinda fluffy..um, is that a ukulele in his hand?" For a moment I actually thought my poor bored brain had made the whole thing up. But the other guards were all chattering about him, and one had actually taken some blurry, Bigfoot-style photos with his cellphone..

I have no idea if we'll see the Bear Suit Man again...nobody knows his raison d'etre, but he sure made us happy while he was at the Mines. (That will change radically if he acts out and does any scenes from,"When Grizzlies Attack", but I think that's a given...)
msfledermaus: (Default)
Mother's day is usually a rough day for people in my humble profession...why? Because I work Sundays. At a public place. A public place full of pretty things attractive to lots and lots of people. And since we're also free, it's a place that becomes chock-full of tired, harassed mommies,their howling, screeching children and their disinterested dads. It's easy to get crabby and start hating the world and your place in it, if you don't have the mental tools to keep going. One of those tools? Playing Fashion-Police...

Yes, there's nothing like the well-trained, critical eye of someone who wears itchy polyester uniforms for a living. But it's such a great mood lifter; more or less along the lines of, "Well, poly-clad I may be, but at least I'm not that guy wearing an orange shirt and green pants!" And on Mother's Day, you get to see how parents have dressed their children for a day out, which makes you weep inwardly for the fate of future humanity...

Some big offenders:

A family that had their little 5-year old daughter wearing a hot-pink fairy-princess tutu-thing that was now at least 2 sizes too small. She had no leggings or anything, and it was a bitingly cold morning yesterday. No coat, either. I felt really awful for the kid...did she throw a tantrum and insist on wearing that thing, or did the parents squeeze her into it because it was "cute"? *shakes head*

There were a lot of tutus on little girls yesterday, actually. I kind of wondered if I'd been caught in a really small ballet recital, at one point...

Lots of shorty-shorts and flip-flops, even though it was, again, really cold. And I mean short-shorts. As in seeing, er, cleavage. And not so much the daughters as the moms...

Then there was the mommy wearing 4 inch spiked heels, in pink, with silver studs all over them. She had a toddler and had a really hard time keeping up with him in those things. Combined with our hard floors, she could barely walk by the end of the day.

There was also a handful of people with Farrah Fawcett hair...Really, really big hair. Feathered. With the big curls. You could hide all kinds of stuff in that hair. Small countries, things like that.

The return of the all-mighty tube-top. Whyyyyyyyy?!?!? They were unflattering before, they did *not* get any better in 30 years, trust me!


So, there you are, and I wish, oh how I wish, I could have given out tickets...That would have been so sublime...
msfledermaus: (Default)
I'm working a little extra today--12 hours instead of 11. It should have been 13, but my captain is letting me go home a little early. I'm doing all I can to pace myself...

At least I had lots of fun after work yesterday. Ben the Neighbor and went to see the St Patrick's day Parade downtown, ordered Chinese food and watched,"The Adventures of Sally Jane" before I got the call from work, begging me to come in early. I'm just grateful I hadn't been drinking scary, scary green beer...

At least it's an easy, funny day. I was telling some cow-irkers and Captain Emily the Saga of Jeff Koons at one of my old workplaces, and Dimbulb rushed in with,"Who are you talking about? Dean Koontz? Have you read any of his books? Because he's a terrible writer!" And happily babbled about him for a few minutes with all of us trying not to laugh in irritated amusement...It's that sort of day, people. May as well laugh about it all...

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