An imagined phone call to work...

[msfledermaus]

"Hello, Jade Mines? Yeah, this is Guard Number THX-666, and I'm uh, sick. Yeah, really. Um, no wait, I'm injured. I er....threw out my back, yeah, and now I can't get out of bed, because it's really warm and cosy, I wish you could feel how soft and nice this bed is because it's awesome and I'm not getting out of it today. Yes, that's weird. Yup, horribly injured. No, wait, I'm temporarily mentally ill, and my psychiatrist told me that I'm not allowed out of bed until I stop thinking I'm a teapot. Out of crazy pills, that's me. Better to stay at home so I don't infect random passersby with the crazy. What? You don't believe me? Oh, you do believe me about the crazy. And that I'd better get my butt to work. Right now. Or else. Right. Okay, see you in an hour...."

"Looks longingly at cosy, cosy bed*

Drat.