"Thank you, yes I'm pretty, no I don't want to talk to you..."

[msfledermaus]

An excellent posting concerning a topic I run into literally every day I go to work...

Schrodinger's Rapist, a post to well-meaning guys spelling out why women are generally unfriendly in public...

Comments

[sassylidge.livejournal.com]

I don't know...I guess it is an all right article, but it sort of has a femi-nazi ring to it, too. I mean really - are all women scared little bunny rabbits out in the world? And do we think that men -never- feel worried about being someplace dangerous or be suspicious of people approaching in public?

I don't know...I'm having a cranky day at work, so that's probably coloring my view of the article.

[riotdorrrk.livejournal.com]

a (female) friend says it's more about the dude being annoying/stupid rather than dangerous, as the 'rape' part of the equation is statistically more likely to happen with someone you know than by someone you don't.

[ravengirl.livejournal.com]

This says it all. I have to re-post it! Thanks for sharing.

[darkknight9.livejournal.com]

Well, I think it sounds just a titch over the top also... but what one person calls paranoia or going too far with fear, another calls being prepared.

I'm always at a loss in these types of discussions though. Ingrained politeness (and lack of cockroach tattoos) aside, Being a 6'3" 300+ pound dude I just can't see everyone as someone who might try to rape me.

Although....

Its been so long since I've been divorced that I might actually not fight it if it happened!

In all seriousness I *do* see the other side of this alot. I've actually seen stunned looks turn fearful at my appearance when in some instances I'm just asking for the time.

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

I feel like there's a difference between women being scared and women honestly calculating what risks there are in their environment. For me it's a good article because I work a security job and use mass transit to and from a really crappy neighborhood where people get mugged all the time. My harassment level is fairly high. If you don't have that kind of environment, it probably doesn't resonate as much. As a friend of mine likes to say, "If it doesn't apply, let it fly..."

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

This is true. Most rapes aren't stranger rapes. But when a stranger bothers you and keeps bothering you, it's starting to budge things into the "no means no" area. And I do think the article is fairly accurate for what goes through the minds of an urban woman day to day, since the stuff she's talking about happens just about every day for a lot of us...

[sassylidge.livejournal.com]

I live in East St. Paul, so I'm on my guard, but I don't know...the article just has a harsh tone.

It's like it's trying to talk to men about how to approach women, but then all it says is "Don't approach them because all women see all men as potential rapists." which isn't really going to make many men listen to what the article has to say.

[sassylidge.livejournal.com]

p.s. sorry for sounding all bitchy in my replies. Cranky day!!

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

It's amazing what a bunch of technicolor cockroach tattoos on your face can do for your social life:)

Seriously, maybe it's where I work, but this resonated with me because it's a problem I deal with often. And someone I knew and liked got attacked and nearly killed recently, so this kind of stuff is on my mind lately. I'm not trying to do the "Poor little wimmins, won't you be nice to us?" thing...I just thought it was a good piece that reminded a lot of good guys that women still don't live in the same world as they do, with the same risks.

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

Anytime:)

[darkknight9.livejournal.com]

I'm not trying to do the "Poor little wimmins, won't you be nice to us?" thing

No no no no no...... I didnt think you were, I was just torn between my naturally "only ever so slightly paranoid" nature and my "I dont know how to describe it but this feels a little over the top" self.

But then again, I'm an odd one. I think that everyone should carry some form of protection and that folks that rape might just need to be culled from society.

They're breathing my air. ;)

I do think that **every** male on the planet has a phase where they need to learn to pick up on signals and learn to communicate in some fashion that doesnt suggest that they left half theyre brain back in the cave.

Some of us learn it far earlier than others, and small minded ones sometimes never learn it at all.

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

I understand completely. It's all good...beside, I'm sure my turn to be bitchy is coming, and I'll need that "Get out of Bitchyness Free" card soon...

Damn, I should draw that card. I could hand them out like candy to my friends:)

[ahriman-gonzo.livejournal.com]

Good article. Sadly a lot of the things mentioned are why men won't go to help a child these days for fear of being accused of being a paedo. Nothing irks/saddens me more than acrying kid but there's a little bit in the brain that goes 'Wait...'

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

Yeah..that's a hard one. I have a job in a public place full of kids groups, and even though I'm a nonthreatening lady with glasses, I am very careful when I help kids so the parents don't freak out at me. And it makes me sad too...I can totally buy that being harder if you're male.