Longish rambly post...be warned...
Apr. 22nd, 2004 03:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
msfledermausA small stream of consciousness ramble....
My feet hurt again. I've been walking and going up and down stairs too much lately, no end in sight. I'm carrying too much stuff too. It's getting hard for me to appreciate the relative quiet I get here sometimes, even though it's better than lugging boxes around.
I'm very unmotivated today. Don't wanna be here, nope, nope. I hate my little no-back-support stool, I hate all the random stupid stuff my boss springs on me, that evil troll of a man...I hate how exposed I feel at work sometimes, how "On" I have to be, the politeness to people who are rude to me. Bleh. It's not motivating stuff to think...but this place tends to beat the motivation out of you. Virtue is it's own reward, bebeh...and you'll get no other as long as you work Ops for the Minimalist Inferno...
I can't help but dream a little when I'm not taking care of the job that feeds me and covers my head. Someday some of my more modest dreams might be a reality, at least in part.
Small weird shop. Selling small weird things. Big weird things, too, I'm not a smallist.
Spending my days making strange artifacts, paintings, clothes. Yarn, too. It would be fun to have a spinning wheel and a sheep of my own. Maybe I can try some co-oppy sort of thing with a couple of other artists when we're all making more money again...
And then there's the non realistic Mini-holiday sort of dreams...Swimming in a nice cool lake somewhere. Napping in long grass. Walking on a beach and finding lost objects in the sand. (Usually stuff like clocks, chairs, old books, discarded jewelry boxes, ironwork gates. My daydreams are a little surreal.) Sitting in the middle of a dark, still forest with light filtering through the trees in tiny glimpses. Sometimes I'll decorate an old Victorian house in my head, just for fun. Or come up with paintings. Or think of new things to knit. (Look! A chopstick cosy!) This sort of thing makes my day a little easier.
When the job market opens up, I'm outta here proverbial bat-from-hell-style. This place is famous in the Museum world for incompetence in the Ops field. But oh, how tight the economy still is. And the insurance isn't bad. And I make enough to eat with. And some of the people are really good. And and and...I've been here too long... long enough that this ramble isn't a new topic. I know someday, one way or another, this topic will change...hopefully for the better. A door opens up for every door that closes...it's just, as Diane DiMassa says, "the waiting in the hallways that always bugs me."
So there you are...
My feet hurt again. I've been walking and going up and down stairs too much lately, no end in sight. I'm carrying too much stuff too. It's getting hard for me to appreciate the relative quiet I get here sometimes, even though it's better than lugging boxes around.
I'm very unmotivated today. Don't wanna be here, nope, nope. I hate my little no-back-support stool, I hate all the random stupid stuff my boss springs on me, that evil troll of a man...I hate how exposed I feel at work sometimes, how "On" I have to be, the politeness to people who are rude to me. Bleh. It's not motivating stuff to think...but this place tends to beat the motivation out of you. Virtue is it's own reward, bebeh...and you'll get no other as long as you work Ops for the Minimalist Inferno...
I can't help but dream a little when I'm not taking care of the job that feeds me and covers my head. Someday some of my more modest dreams might be a reality, at least in part.
Small weird shop. Selling small weird things. Big weird things, too, I'm not a smallist.
Spending my days making strange artifacts, paintings, clothes. Yarn, too. It would be fun to have a spinning wheel and a sheep of my own. Maybe I can try some co-oppy sort of thing with a couple of other artists when we're all making more money again...
And then there's the non realistic Mini-holiday sort of dreams...Swimming in a nice cool lake somewhere. Napping in long grass. Walking on a beach and finding lost objects in the sand. (Usually stuff like clocks, chairs, old books, discarded jewelry boxes, ironwork gates. My daydreams are a little surreal.) Sitting in the middle of a dark, still forest with light filtering through the trees in tiny glimpses. Sometimes I'll decorate an old Victorian house in my head, just for fun. Or come up with paintings. Or think of new things to knit. (Look! A chopstick cosy!) This sort of thing makes my day a little easier.
When the job market opens up, I'm outta here proverbial bat-from-hell-style. This place is famous in the Museum world for incompetence in the Ops field. But oh, how tight the economy still is. And the insurance isn't bad. And I make enough to eat with. And some of the people are really good. And and and...I've been here too long... long enough that this ramble isn't a new topic. I know someday, one way or another, this topic will change...hopefully for the better. A door opens up for every door that closes...it's just, as Diane DiMassa says, "the waiting in the hallways that always bugs me."
So there you are...
