Ah'm an imaginary creeeture...

[msfledermaus]

...I was walking around some of the holiday-decorated period rooms at workies listening to a costumed docent telling a group of kids about one of the rooms:

Docent: "In Salem, Massachusets there were many superstitions about witches..."
My internal dialogue: "You can say THAT again...baaad stuff happened, maan!"
Docent: "In those times, people would put evergreen branches over their doorways in the belief that witches would have to count every needle before they could get in..."
Me: "Estimation of 55 needles per small branch, multiplied by the number of boughs over the doorway, divided by the faux mistletoe they stuck in there, minus 257 needles for breakage...15,677 and 3/4, mister..."
Docent: "...And some people still believe in witches today!"
Me *Stilfed indignant "Ohhhh!!!!!"
Docent: "Well, there's a lot of needles here...I think we're safe from witches in here!!"
Me: "Says you...I've been in there at least a dozen times in the last half-hour, keeping your groups out of the fake plum pudding!!!"

I was the soul of polite guarditute...and stifling laughter for the rest of the afternoon...

So there you are:)

Comments

[elysiangirl.livejournal.com]

that is PRICELESS!!

there be witches among us! eeeeee!

[mcohenmn.livejournal.com]

ROTFL

Historical wonkery

[http://users.livejournal.com/_contingent_/]

Grrr. It always annoys me when the Salem witch trials get treated as a study in superstition. There's been very good historical work done in this area, the result of which that we now know they were essentially part of a down and dirty fight for economic control of the town that started over a highway bypass. There were superstitions all over the colonies. It's just that in Salem the rich and powerful deployed them tactically in an attempt to protect their privileges.

[roadskoller.livejournal.com]

Now that's funny!

[rdsc.livejournal.com]

"15,674, 15,675, 15 thousand and ..... Blast! Castor and Pollux blow me to Bermuda! Where was I? I'm never going to get to see the plum pudding at this rate..."

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

Boolah boolah!
*finger waggle*

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

It was pretty hysterical:)

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

*whips out calculator*

Thing is, unlike the rest of the populace, the witches could actually COUNT and stuff!

Okay...*tappity tappity tappity* Ding! 25 thousand, five hundred and forty-two...you can lookit the pudding now!!

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

It was hard....I had to hide in a side gallery what with the giggling and stuff...

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

so's yer ikon!!! Flying piggies!!

Re: Historical wonkery

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

*nods solemnly*
Yeah...it's scary stuff when the powerful work on the worst instincts and fears of their people:(

[rdsc.livejournal.com]

Thankyou - most kind - now, where was I? Oh yes! Performs a subtle sleight of hand, palms the calculator and sticks it under his hat "that's what I was after"). To the pudding! Now, Ms Maus, what do you think would happen if we replaced this with a real one, spiced with Gluttony?

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

Hey! My calculator!!!

Hmmph. Now I'm gonna have to use the abacus.
*drags out large abacus and sets it on the floor*

As for pudding, er....you can make a plum pudding? I bet if we did put a real one in there you'd have a Maus in there with a face full of crumbs and guilt and an empty plate...

[rdsc.livejournal.com]

I do a mean rhubarb crumble, you think anyone would notice?. Funnily enough I've been baking a lot the last few weeks. Got my flat clean and my kitchen sorted and I haven't eaten anything pre-prepared for nearly a month. Baked a banana and walnut cake on Sunday that made my flat smell of hot honey! Yee ha - I just wanted to eat the air :)

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

MmmmmmmmmBaking,Mmmmmmmm....I think people would *notice* but nobody would actually mind...I mean, rhubard crumble's practically currency here in the Midwest!

I think it's the weather...it's cold as cold can be here, which makes everybody want to bake so we can heat the house up a touch and have everything smell like vanilla cheesecake:) I think after workies today I want to bake corn muffins and make split pea soup from scratch and cocoa and and and and...
*has to breathe into a paper bag for a minute*

[rdsc.livejournal.com]

Really? You've got Rhubarb? It grows wild on the Orkneys which was just the icing on the cake given all the sea and sky, but it was nice to be able to scavenge your pudding.

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

Uh huh...grows here wild and everything. I have no idea if it's indigenous or if settlers brought it along with the apple trees and the honeybees and they just did really well here. I thought the same thing you did: "They have rhubarb over there?" Heh. Now one of us has to go to Wikipedia and look up the origins of the rhubarb plant...

I've never had plum pudding, though...it's a bit cold up here for plums, but I bet my local organic grocery has some imports from California or something. Maybe I should look up a recipie to replace the one that er, went missing:)

Rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb

[rdsc.livejournal.com]

I love how "literal" obsessives get on the NET - you want to know more than is conceivably necessary about rhubarb? Go to Rhubarbinfo.com!

Re: Rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

Holy crap! Rhubarb!!!!

So neither of us gets to claim the mighty rhubarb, it's Chinese. Cooooooool....