A song I've got running through my head...

[msfledermaus]

It was an old Doctor Demento song...I tried Googling it, but nothing came up...so the lyrics are a little less than perfect. I think I've got the gist of it, though...

Nothing is Science (Played by an accordion and a female alto in a sea-chantyish tune)

Nothing is science unless you have evidence,
Just try to measure a thing that's not there;
without concrete data we must express hesitance,
spurious beasties had better beware...

Ware, ware, better beware,
Sometimes the truth can be terribly dull;
Next time a sea-monster clambers on board with you,
Feed it a fish-head and call it a gull...

Nothing is science unless it is testable,
Just try to measure a thing that's not there;
opinions and hearsay are simply detestable,
psychokinetics had better beware...

Ware, ware, better beware,
Things that aren't there are not there and that's that!
Next time a poltergeist tears up your living room,
Clean up the mess, blame it all on the cat...

Nothing is science unless it is quantified,
just try to measure a thing that's not there;
numbers legitimize, render things bona-fide,
hunches and feelings had better beware...

Ware, ware, better beware,
You can be blinded by stars in your eyes,
Next time you're seized by emitions most passionate,
Take out your ruler, determine their size...

Nothing is science unless it's repeatable,
One isn't valid, there must be a pair,
Strict repetition of fact is unbeatable,
Little greeen aliens better beware...

Ware, ware, better beware,
Thigns don't exist if they're truly unique,
Next time a spaceship alights on your patio,
It's not real until it comes back twice a week.

Ware, ware, better beware,
science takes notes as the world trundles by,
points factual fingers at blind faith and innocence,
missing the mote in it's own sterile eye...

A caveat: I love science. I believe it can save our planet and our species. But I've had scientific friends that were so very sure they knew absolutely everything, never leaving room for Weird Stuff that Just happens sometimes...so I like this song a lot.

Comments

[phil99.livejournal.com]

Gotta love that google knows something about it now:
http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=%22Nothing+is+science%22+lyrics

;)

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

Y'know, I clicked the link and it gave me the page I saw before; the not-very-helpful page...

...unless now you find my Lj with the song:)

[phil99.livejournal.com]

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

And there I am, helping lyric-people find one silly song I just like...:)

"A Look At Things That Don't Exist"

[emberleo.livejournal.com]

You remembered a verse I'd forgotten! Thank you! Although one line is still missing from it, arrgh.

The song is by Dr. Jane Robinson. It's called "A Look At Things That Don't Exist", and can be found on the album Wackedamia.

--Ember--

Re: "A Look At Things That Don't Exist"

[emberleo.livejournal.com]

Here are all the words I know:

A Look At Things That Don't Exist
By Dr. Jane Robinson

Nothing is science unless we have evidence
Things can't leave traces unless they are there
Without concrete data we must express hesitance
Spurious beasties had better beware!

Ware! Ware! Better beware!
Sometimes the truth can be terribly dull
Next time a sea monster clamors aboard with you
Feed it a fishhead and call it a gull.

Nothing is science unless it is testable,
Experiments don't work when nothing is there
Opinions and hearsay are simply detestable,
Psychokinetics had better beware...

Ware, ware, better beware,
Things that aren't there are not there and that's that!
Next time a poltergeist tears up your living room,
Clean up the mess, blame it all on the cat...

Nothing is science unless it is quantified
Just try to measure a thing that's not there!
Numbers legitimize, render things Bona-fide!
Hunches and feelings had better beware!

Ware! Ware! Better beware!
You can be blinded by stars in your eyes!
Next time you're seized by emotions most passionate
Take out your ruler, determine their size!

Nothing is science unless it's disprovable
You can't disprove something when nothing is there!
Knowledge is power and truth is immovable!
Myth and religion had better beware!

Ware! Ware! Better beware!
If it's not there, there's no grief it can bring!
Next time you're struck by divine revelation
Remember St. John and forget the whole thing!

Nothing is science unless it's repeatable
One isn't valid there must be a pair
Strict repetition of facts is unbeatable!
Little green aliens better beware!

Ware! Ware! Better beware!
Things don't exist if they're truly unique
Next time a spaceship alights on your patio
It's not there until it comes back twice a week!

Science lends credence, defines our reality
And states its decrees with definitive air
Claims to be fair and without partiality
But won't even glance at the things that aren't there

Ware! Ware! Better beware!
Science takes notes as the world trundles by
Points factual fingers at blind faith and innocence
Missing the mote in its own sterile eye!

Cheers!

--Ember--

Re: "A Look At Things That Don't Exist"

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

Wow! Thank you so much--this has been quietly bugging me for AGES! I'm lucky I remembered as much as I did:) But thank you, thank you, and what a delight!