All things must poo...

[msfledermaus]

I had a horrible, horrible thing happen yesterday here at the workies. I was walking around, minding my own business, when a patron walked up to me and told me about some feces that was on the floor int he ladies bathroom in the next gallery. (This is one of the fun things about working in a public space; with so many little kids running around there was bound to be an incident involving poo.) I called Janitorial on the radio, and told them, "There is something that needs to be cleaned up in this bathroom right away." I thought this was about as clear as you could get without being, um...explicit. Apparently, not so. The Janitor called me back: "I can't find anything, what am I looking for?" I mashed my forehead into my palm, and then quietly said, "Feces." "Which Bathroom?" "Ladies." I muttered. I could feel the blood rising right to my face...

And of course, the minute I had my break, every guard in the place gave me the hard time I so richly deserved. Rob mocked me openly for my entire break. (I suspect he was jealous. If it was him, he'd have said it much louder, and more than once.) Gail laughed herself sick. Captain Emily laughed herself sick. The Thunder God, my boss, told me not to do it again, but he was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes...

So now I am famous in the building for the Guard Who Said "Feces" on the Radio....

*sighs heavily*

Okay, it really is pretty funny...

Comments

[pianolessdevil.livejournal.com]

You're not allowed to say 'feces'? That's kinda funny. The mall I used to work at these little tag words to say instead of 'urine' or 'vomit', so it would be like '#1' or '#3'...it was weird...especially when I didn't know the codes. I would use the radio and my co workers would point and laugh.

Don't feel too bad. ^_^

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

I do think it's pretty funny; it would have been funnier if it wasn't me...

*chuckle*

[specificocean.livejournal.com]

That fits RIGHT into the George Harrison tune!...

"all things must poo/all things must poo away..."

:-D

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

*groan*

Poor George Harrison...now that he's dead, we feel free to make up poo songs with his music!!

[specificocean.livejournal.com]

He had a wicked, wonderful sense of humor....he'd appreciate, I'm sure...;-).

[pbsage.livejournal.com]

what? you can't say sh*t over the radio?
maybe they didn't know that feces = sh*t.
would they say doo-doo
number 2?

sharon fowler's mom would holler from the back door in a very reedy english voice: Buddy? do you need to spend a penny?

spend a penny?

i thought they had to pay to use the throne.

and my friend katy always says: that'll cost ya.

how much?

a qwatah, leave it on the tank.

YES M'AM!

[banana.livejournal.com]

It used to be quite common in England to have to put a coin in the cubicle door in a public loo. The penny becaume a urinating euphemism, even when the price went up.

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

I always wondered when I watched BBC stuff, especially when the Young Ones had reruns:)

[banana.livejournal.com]

I remember one in particular: my grandmother had to explain to me what "public convenience" mean.

[ravengirl.livejournal.com]

"Feces" is totally acceptable, as is "poo", so POO on them. The thunder dood needs a chill pill and a lecture. The "Swearing in America" clause has lightened considerably in recent years, according to my televised programming.

You're too cute. But I wouldn't make FUN of you-- I'd be all "You're too cute". Oh wait, I just said that...

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

*shakes head and laughs*

usually we have codes so people don't know what the heck we're talking about, so if I was talking to another guard I could maybe have used our biohazard code. But alas, Janitorial doesn't use our codes, so he would have had no idea what I meant...there's a slip-up there, I'm sure...

At least it was me saying "Feces" instead of most of the other guards who would have been yelling, "Dooky! there's dooky on that floor!! Do I have to paint you a picture?!? There's a poo-monkey on the tiles!!"

[sirreal13.livejournal.com]

From now on call it Gówno (Polish for shit), or whatever the Japanese word for it is...

[sirreal13.livejournal.com]

in a hospital that might have been a "Code Brown"

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

At least everybody was laughing pretty hard, so I didn't get into trouble...I mean, it wasn't even my gallery; I was helping out the useless guard in the adjoining gallery...

There's an important lesson here: Those who do their actual jobs have to say "Feces" on the radio...act accordingly!!