The Drama of the Dustbunnies...
Apr. 29th, 2008 08:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
msfledermausI haven't written us a bedtime story in ages and eons, have I? Bad Maus. Bad, bad Maus. Okay, got your jammies on? Washed your face? Teeth brushed? Got your favorite pillow? All right, then...
...Once upon a time there was a cheerful yellow house on an island in the middle of a river in the middle of a city. Inside this cheerful yellow house was a funny lady who liked to play with yarns and wools and such. Sometimes the wools would get away in little clumps and hide under the bed for a while until she forgot about them...and they would grow. They would collect mysterious dusts and hairs and get large and fuzzy. And like many creatures left to their own devices for some time...they started to become self-aware.
One of the dustbunnies struck up a conversation with the dustbunny next to it.
"What do you think it would be like to be Outside?" he asked.
"Outside? I really have no idea. What's an Outside?"
"It's not under the bed. I think it's got different things, not dust and feathers and wools. I think there are other things like bunnies Outside. Real Bunnies."
"How would you know about real bunnies?" asked the other dustbunny.
The dustbunny rolled over to a book on the floor, titled, "The Care and Feeding of Dwarf Rabbits"
"See?" It fluffed itself up proudly. "I already know something about Outside now!"
"Ummm...how do you know how to read?" asked the other dustbunny.
The proud, fluffed-up dustbunny rolled over to the other book on the floor, "The McGuffy's Reader For Tutoring Inanimate Objects".
"Ohhhhh, I see." said the other dustbunny, impressed with the first one's learning...
The dustbunnies were interrupted while in the middle of an argument about whether having blue angora fur in you counted as being a real bunny by a big broom and dustpan. "Holy crap, I so have to dust this place more often!" exclaimed the funny wool-lady. "Right, this stuff is going under the bushes outside instead of in the trash where I usually throw stuff...because a story about dustbunnies languishing in a landfill is just too sad and awful to inflict on people, really..."
So the dustbunnies were at last, Outside. It was cold Outside. And a bit damp. and all this wide space...they were quite spooked by it all. Until something just as large as them hopped near. A bunny! A real, live, Outdoor Bunny! The Real Bunny was at first a bit suspicious of the newcomers claims to be real bunnies, especially since they had those odd light blue flecks in their fur, but eventually he felt sorry for the things and led them to a warm soft burrow under the big bridge in the middle of the Island. And so the dustbunnies realized that Outside wasn't such a bad thing after all...
They're still out there, breeding, being dusty, and teaching their dusty little children how to read from old City Pages articles, even though they don't understand them very well. (They just like the pictures, really, like most of us.) So if you're walking around the Island at night, and you see a rabbit frolicking in the moonlight, look closely. It might be just a little bit on the blue side for a proper bunnyrabbit. And you'll know what you've seen...
Night night, sleep tight, close your eyes....shhhhhhhhh...
...Once upon a time there was a cheerful yellow house on an island in the middle of a river in the middle of a city. Inside this cheerful yellow house was a funny lady who liked to play with yarns and wools and such. Sometimes the wools would get away in little clumps and hide under the bed for a while until she forgot about them...and they would grow. They would collect mysterious dusts and hairs and get large and fuzzy. And like many creatures left to their own devices for some time...they started to become self-aware.
One of the dustbunnies struck up a conversation with the dustbunny next to it.
"What do you think it would be like to be Outside?" he asked.
"Outside? I really have no idea. What's an Outside?"
"It's not under the bed. I think it's got different things, not dust and feathers and wools. I think there are other things like bunnies Outside. Real Bunnies."
"How would you know about real bunnies?" asked the other dustbunny.
The dustbunny rolled over to a book on the floor, titled, "The Care and Feeding of Dwarf Rabbits"
"See?" It fluffed itself up proudly. "I already know something about Outside now!"
"Ummm...how do you know how to read?" asked the other dustbunny.
The proud, fluffed-up dustbunny rolled over to the other book on the floor, "The McGuffy's Reader For Tutoring Inanimate Objects".
"Ohhhhh, I see." said the other dustbunny, impressed with the first one's learning...
The dustbunnies were interrupted while in the middle of an argument about whether having blue angora fur in you counted as being a real bunny by a big broom and dustpan. "Holy crap, I so have to dust this place more often!" exclaimed the funny wool-lady. "Right, this stuff is going under the bushes outside instead of in the trash where I usually throw stuff...because a story about dustbunnies languishing in a landfill is just too sad and awful to inflict on people, really..."
So the dustbunnies were at last, Outside. It was cold Outside. And a bit damp. and all this wide space...they were quite spooked by it all. Until something just as large as them hopped near. A bunny! A real, live, Outdoor Bunny! The Real Bunny was at first a bit suspicious of the newcomers claims to be real bunnies, especially since they had those odd light blue flecks in their fur, but eventually he felt sorry for the things and led them to a warm soft burrow under the big bridge in the middle of the Island. And so the dustbunnies realized that Outside wasn't such a bad thing after all...
They're still out there, breeding, being dusty, and teaching their dusty little children how to read from old City Pages articles, even though they don't understand them very well. (They just like the pictures, really, like most of us.) So if you're walking around the Island at night, and you see a rabbit frolicking in the moonlight, look closely. It might be just a little bit on the blue side for a proper bunnyrabbit. And you'll know what you've seen...
Night night, sleep tight, close your eyes....shhhhhhhhh...
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no subject
Date: 2008-04-30 03:03 am (UTC)The proud, fluffed-up dustbunny rolled over to the other book on the floor, "The McGuffy's Reader For Tutoring Inanimate Objects".
I remember that from school!!
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Date: 2008-04-30 12:31 pm (UTC)and James and the Giant Bottle of Peach Schnapps...
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Date: 2008-04-30 01:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-30 10:42 am (UTC)I love your stories!
no subject
Date: 2008-04-30 12:31 pm (UTC)