The Third Annual Insult-a-rama...

[msfledermaus]

Okay, my beloved friends...because it's a particularly stressful event at the Jade Mines today, I will do what I've done a few years running: If you ask me to, I will insult you. Loudly, inventively, and with as much hillarible verve as possible. There's only two rules here:

1: You have to ask me.
2: It may take me a minute to get to the comments, since we'll be jam-packed with guards today.

Every time I've done this, it's made me feel a lot better...so line up! Who's first to be horribly insulted? Hah? Who wants some of this?!?

*waits patiently*

Comments

[elysiangirl.livejournal.com]

omg me me!

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

why, you odiferous, scrofulous, lice-infested, crusty-underwear-sporting,purse-snatching little evil troll-faced pimple on butt of humanity, you don't DESERVE my insults!!! You don't deserve anything but the lowest disdain a human being can ever achieve!!! And furthermore, that lipstick is the wrong color on you!!!

[elysiangirl.livejournal.com]

you RAWK maus.

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

I do my humble best:)

[dreaming-soul.livejournal.com]

me pick me oooome!

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

Yay!!

*rubs fingers*

You'd come in first in a Dick Cheney lookalike contest! Nyahahaha! You're ugly, pampered, shambolic, and have intestinal weaknesses that embarrass you daily!!

[cynnerth.livejournal.com]

Oh please give me some of that Minnesota hatred. I just spent two days at a Leadership Conference, failing miserably at pretending to be a salesperson. They were too nice to me. Tell me EXACTLY how much I sucked!

You poor thing!

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

Well...I hate to say this, but you did suck, and everybody was pointing and laughing behind your back. They think you should go back to doing something useful, like shoveling out manure from backed-up cesspits. And they were mocking your shoes THE ENTIRE TIME...

Re: You poor thing!

[cynnerth.livejournal.com]

And I wasted all that energy worrying about my ugly socks. Who knew?!

Re: You poor thing!

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

Heeheehee!

[thedarkages]

I'll take a pass on this one, Maus. I can insult myself much, much better than anyone else can. Moreover, not only are my insults imaginative and hurtful, but they're true, too. You're just making stuff up.

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

Maybe instead of false insults, you could use some true compliments instead...
*ahem*

You're creative, generous and bright, and I think you're an excellent person. The world is full of ways to make us people who don't fit well into the neat tidy holes feel like we should just curl up and die...but don't mind them...or the nasty little voices that tell you things that aren't really true.

And you have excellent taste in hot-pink feral bunnies, by the way...

[sirreal13.livejournal.com]

Is it to late to bask in the snarkiness?

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

Never!

I can't believe you stopped your incessant habit of licking buffalo feces to even post to me...it's impressive. NOw if you could just take a break from all this computer stuff and get all the fleas out of your horrible, festering armpits, we'd really be seeing something!!

You're too good at this...

[sirreal13.livejournal.com]

can't believe you stopped your incessant habit of licking buffalo feces to even post to me...it's impressive
Truly impressive will power, non? I never cease to amaze me. Re: the computer stuff; I really should log off and get some sleep... (Itch) Regarding the fleas, I deny any association with said (itch, itch) critters...