Ms Mausi's (yet again) Glorious Insult-a-thon...

[msfledermaus]

Ladies and gentlemen, since it's *that* kind of week for so very many of us, and it's my Friday, I offer you my Ms Mausi's Insult-a-thon!

You people know the rules: Line up in an orderly fashion, no pushing. Ask me nicely in comments for a nice juicy insult with all the trimmings, and I will comply with my vast arsenal of curse words, horrible put-downs and just plain strange, convoluted descriptions of your various family members...

This is an all-day post, so don't fret if you get in on the tail end. All requests for an insult will be lovingly answered in a freestyle,detail-oriented fashion...

One, two, three, go!

Comments

[annablume.livejournal.com]

Pick me!

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

I'll pick you, missy, like I would pick my nose and remove some odious, green-tinged booger the size of your head...that looks like you.

[sirreal13.livejournal.com]

OK, let's say I'm a Massachusetts Bay colony resident (circa 1630), you are the new preacher sent over from the old country and you don't think I have demonstrated sufficient independence from the Church of England. What say thee to that? (Please?)

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

I say: To the Stocks!!! And then there will be whipping! With a humiliating sign on your neck saying, "Naughty bad Devil-Spawn!" And more whipping! With live frogs!!! Ahahahahhaa!

[sirreal13.livejournal.com]

(Bows head in deference to her Majesty)I am most obliged for your thoughtful and just punishment for my flagrant Non-Separatism... Please don't cut off me ears, but if you do I will be thankful to have two less things to freeze off come winter.

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

I will let you keep your ears, just so I can watch them freeze. Bwahahaha!

[sirreal13.livejournal.com]

You'd make a good Puritan Governor, Gov'nah... ;^)

[anterastilis.livejournal.com]

Oh, I think I'll bite.

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

Oh, you bite, alright. You bite like that last bite of a Jack in the Box burger, when you realize you've made a terrible terrible mistake and only vomiting copiously will pay the price...You induce nausea of an extra-ordinary color and viscosity, and only removing yourself will stop legions of unhappy people from their bazooka-barfing...

[halfmoon-mollie.livejournal.com]

me. me. I've had it with profs who think they are above the support staff and students who lie.

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

Okay:
*ahem*

To the stupid, lying liar-profs who keep making my friend unhappy. We know. We know all your lies. Even the lies you told as a tiny, horrible child. And your grand ego is only there to insulate your tiny, tiny brain. We know this to be true, and one day your ego will get so big it'll pop from it's own weight, drizzling what little brains you have on whatever sad carpet is unfortunate enough to be stood upon by you...

[fleur.livejournal.com]

Do it! Do it!!

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

I'm doing it--over-doing it!
Picking your nose and chewing it, chewing it!

You're a saucy, naughty monkey who flings verbal and emotional poo at every 3rd person who meet! That's how shameless you are, you hussy! And you have immense amounts of emotional monkey-poo to fling! It boggles the mind!! Monkey! Arrrrgh, the monkey!!!

[fleur.livejournal.com]

Mr. B.M. Powder concurs!

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

Well of course he does...but keep in mind, Mr. B.M has his own very special issues...
*snicker*

[fleur.livejournal.com]

Oh. He has issues.

[thedarkages]

I do a damn fine job of insulting myself. It's called low self-esteem.

For extra points, work the word "schnorrer" into your diatribe.

Aw.

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

That's why the insults I give you are particularly good--because even for those of low self-esteem, they're so ludicrous that no one would or should believe that they fit at all...

As for schnorrer,I think I can do that...you horrible, greedy piggy-faced schnorrer, who whuffles the chocolate-covered cherries of other, more deserving people! You have filched the pies of the good and kind people, and given them nothing but the empty pie-crust of disdain! Shame, shame on you! You should be writhing in a pit of apple-cores and cherry pits while good people point and laugh and spit and throw fruit pips and bowling balls at you! Nyaaaaah!

(Heh, I had to look up, "Schnorrer" first...I cheated, a little. But an A for effort?)

Re: Aw.

[thedarkages]

Brilliant, Maus. I wish that you had had the chance to take a course at Yale that I wish I had taken myself. (I had a scheduling conflict with a course I needed for my major.) It was called "Latin Invective," and it taught you how to be really, really insulting in Latin, using the writings of the nastiest Romans whose texts have come down to posterity. Of course, the difficulty would be finding someone to insult whose appreciation of Latin style was equal to one's own. Perhaps one could find priests whose egos needed a little trimming...

Re: Aw.

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

Sadly, finding such a priest is easy enough...there's some mean old sourpuss at the high school on the Island. You can't even walk on the public sidewalk without him scowling at you like some revenant from the Phantasm movies...

I will memorize some of the excellent Latin insults you sent me in that excellent book, and let him have it if he gives me the stink-eye one more time!