Father-figures...
Jun. 20th, 2011 09:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
msfledermausMost of yesterday I was busy goofing around outside, looking at motorcycles or drinking things in tiki mugs and such. I did spend time talking to my parental units in the morning, though, and wishing them Happy Father's Day...
Father's day for me is a little uncomfortable. It's complicated. I have a biological father who was unkind to my family and who abandoned us financially after the divorce. Recently he has popped up here and there in e-mails, wanting to have some sort of belated relationship, now that all the hard parts of child-rearing are over and taken care of by other people. (Bitter? Moi? Never!) I also have had a stepdad who my brother and I adored to distraction, who did interesting things and was funny and good to my mom, who died when we were young. Even though it's been 32 years since his death, I still miss him terribly sometimes. And for the past 21 years I've had another stepdad, a man who's kind and funny and works hard, a man who helped me move and was with me when I had surgery. He loves to fish and golf, and liked the big pirate flag I got him for his last birthday. We both love Invader Zim, particularly Gir. Until they run out of Invader Zim merchandise, I will gleefully scout out the internet to find things like Gir riding a pig, eating cupcakes and shrieking...because my dad gets me like that...
Yes, my dad. As far as I'm concerned, being a dad is not just a biological accident of fortune. It's a title, a title you have to earn with sweat and blood and tears and fishing lessons. And my stepdad has earned it, and keeps earning it for all these years...
Father's day for me is a little uncomfortable. It's complicated. I have a biological father who was unkind to my family and who abandoned us financially after the divorce. Recently he has popped up here and there in e-mails, wanting to have some sort of belated relationship, now that all the hard parts of child-rearing are over and taken care of by other people. (Bitter? Moi? Never!) I also have had a stepdad who my brother and I adored to distraction, who did interesting things and was funny and good to my mom, who died when we were young. Even though it's been 32 years since his death, I still miss him terribly sometimes. And for the past 21 years I've had another stepdad, a man who's kind and funny and works hard, a man who helped me move and was with me when I had surgery. He loves to fish and golf, and liked the big pirate flag I got him for his last birthday. We both love Invader Zim, particularly Gir. Until they run out of Invader Zim merchandise, I will gleefully scout out the internet to find things like Gir riding a pig, eating cupcakes and shrieking...because my dad gets me like that...
Yes, my dad. As far as I'm concerned, being a dad is not just a biological accident of fortune. It's a title, a title you have to earn with sweat and blood and tears and fishing lessons. And my stepdad has earned it, and keeps earning it for all these years...
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Date: 2011-06-20 08:06 pm (UTC)What nerve for him to want to come back into your life now after leaving you and your mom.
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Date: 2011-06-25 09:38 pm (UTC)