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msfledermausI finally hacked through the last chapters last night...and I feel such great relief. I really love a good bad book, but man, this barely had enough funny bits to keep me going. Yeah, the writing was awful, but after a while the very, very purple prose got dull.Really dull. Painfully, terribly dull. But anyway, here's my end-of-story review of Fifty Shades of Grey, read by me so you don't have to...ever.
"Hurray! I'm getting close to the end of 50 Shades of Uck! Today's installment: Miss Flubsy runs off to Georgia to visit her folks and get some distance on her scary, emotionally and somewhat physically abusive relationship...the first smart thing, I might add, that she's done in this book. So of course you don't need me to tell you what happens, do you? Of course not--but I will anyway! The creeper shows up, unannounced and uninvited, as usual, at her stepdad's country club. On his private jet! You know, I'm thinking since Creeper Gray is acting like an actual cartoony Super-Villain, he may as well go all the way, with a volcano-lair and a horde of ninjoid minions. He's pretty much there anyway; may as well go big or go home, am I right?"
"Hey people! I finally finished that awful, terrible book, 50 Shades of Awful!
The last chapter was especially annoying--After finally getting it through her thick, thick skull that maybe it was a bad idea to keep dating Mr Creeper, Miss Flubsy finally breaks things off after the Creeper yet again does things she's not okay with. The leaving is fairly weak, but at this point we'll all have to take what we can get, and it's more than I expected from Miss Marshmallow-Brain. But the rest of the whole chapter is apparently a huge setup for Book Number Two...Arrrrgh!! *slams head against desk over and over and over* Sorry, folks--I'm not doing book two OR three, and nobody can make me!! Hah! But if you can think of another bad book you want me to blather about, tell me in the comments, and I'll give it a try!"
I have to say, much as I hated the book, I did have fun writing my little book reports. Heh...
"Hurray! I'm getting close to the end of 50 Shades of Uck! Today's installment: Miss Flubsy runs off to Georgia to visit her folks and get some distance on her scary, emotionally and somewhat physically abusive relationship...the first smart thing, I might add, that she's done in this book. So of course you don't need me to tell you what happens, do you? Of course not--but I will anyway! The creeper shows up, unannounced and uninvited, as usual, at her stepdad's country club. On his private jet! You know, I'm thinking since Creeper Gray is acting like an actual cartoony Super-Villain, he may as well go all the way, with a volcano-lair and a horde of ninjoid minions. He's pretty much there anyway; may as well go big or go home, am I right?"
"Hey people! I finally finished that awful, terrible book, 50 Shades of Awful!
The last chapter was especially annoying--After finally getting it through her thick, thick skull that maybe it was a bad idea to keep dating Mr Creeper, Miss Flubsy finally breaks things off after the Creeper yet again does things she's not okay with. The leaving is fairly weak, but at this point we'll all have to take what we can get, and it's more than I expected from Miss Marshmallow-Brain. But the rest of the whole chapter is apparently a huge setup for Book Number Two...Arrrrgh!! *slams head against desk over and over and over* Sorry, folks--I'm not doing book two OR three, and nobody can make me!! Hah! But if you can think of another bad book you want me to blather about, tell me in the comments, and I'll give it a try!"
I have to say, much as I hated the book, I did have fun writing my little book reports. Heh...
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Date: 2013-03-27 08:12 am (UTC)_Ready Player One_ by Ernest Cline
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Date: 2013-03-27 01:11 pm (UTC)Well done!
Date: 2013-03-27 11:37 am (UTC)I'd say at this point you have done more than your duty to Gods and country by suffering through the first volume. Books 2&3 probably qualify as cruel and unusual punishment.
Also, you're a braver woman than I. After taking in the tampon-soaked goodness of chapter 23, I decided that the rest would be far too great a test of my gag reflex. Good on you for taking the whole thing. I applaud you.
*Also, thank you for the add!
Re: Well done!
Date: 2013-03-27 01:17 pm (UTC)And yeah, gah, that scene. I was going out of my way to avoid talking about the squicky bits, which is of course why anyone would read this thing in the first place. That one was particularly bad--what a way to throw a HUGE bucket of ice-water on a sex scene! Besides the sex-ed questions that immediately pop up with everybody:
"Uhhhh...you guys have proof you've been tested? You know she can still possibly get pregnant, right?" *covers face with hands*
I am delighted to add you, btw! So nice to meet you!
Re: Well done!
Date: 2013-03-30 12:19 pm (UTC)It's lovely to meet you too!!