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It was an old Doctor Demento song...I tried Googling it, but nothing came up...so the lyrics are a little less than perfect. I think I've got the gist of it, though...
Nothing is Science (Played by an accordion and a female alto in a sea-chantyish tune)
Nothing is science unless you have evidence,
Just try to measure a thing that's not there;
without concrete data we must express hesitance,
spurious beasties had better beware...
Ware, ware, better beware,
Sometimes the truth can be terribly dull;
Next time a sea-monster clambers on board with you,
Feed it a fish-head and call it a gull...
Nothing is science unless it is testable,
Just try to measure a thing that's not there;
opinions and hearsay are simply detestable,
psychokinetics had better beware...
Ware, ware, better beware,
Things that aren't there are not there and that's that!
Next time a poltergeist tears up your living room,
Clean up the mess, blame it all on the cat...
Nothing is science unless it is quantified,
just try to measure a thing that's not there;
numbers legitimize, render things bona-fide,
hunches and feelings had better beware...
Ware, ware, better beware,
You can be blinded by stars in your eyes,
Next time you're seized by emitions most passionate,
Take out your ruler, determine their size...
Nothing is science unless it's repeatable,
One isn't valid, there must be a pair,
Strict repetition of fact is unbeatable,
Little greeen aliens better beware...
Ware, ware, better beware,
Thigns don't exist if they're truly unique,
Next time a spaceship alights on your patio,
It's not real until it comes back twice a week.
Ware, ware, better beware,
science takes notes as the world trundles by,
points factual fingers at blind faith and innocence,
missing the mote in it's own sterile eye...
A caveat: I love science. I believe it can save our planet and our species. But I've had scientific friends that were so very sure they knew absolutely everything, never leaving room for Weird Stuff that Just happens sometimes...so I like this song a lot.
Nothing is Science (Played by an accordion and a female alto in a sea-chantyish tune)
Nothing is science unless you have evidence,
Just try to measure a thing that's not there;
without concrete data we must express hesitance,
spurious beasties had better beware...
Ware, ware, better beware,
Sometimes the truth can be terribly dull;
Next time a sea-monster clambers on board with you,
Feed it a fish-head and call it a gull...
Nothing is science unless it is testable,
Just try to measure a thing that's not there;
opinions and hearsay are simply detestable,
psychokinetics had better beware...
Ware, ware, better beware,
Things that aren't there are not there and that's that!
Next time a poltergeist tears up your living room,
Clean up the mess, blame it all on the cat...
Nothing is science unless it is quantified,
just try to measure a thing that's not there;
numbers legitimize, render things bona-fide,
hunches and feelings had better beware...
Ware, ware, better beware,
You can be blinded by stars in your eyes,
Next time you're seized by emitions most passionate,
Take out your ruler, determine their size...
Nothing is science unless it's repeatable,
One isn't valid, there must be a pair,
Strict repetition of fact is unbeatable,
Little greeen aliens better beware...
Ware, ware, better beware,
Thigns don't exist if they're truly unique,
Next time a spaceship alights on your patio,
It's not real until it comes back twice a week.
Ware, ware, better beware,
science takes notes as the world trundles by,
points factual fingers at blind faith and innocence,
missing the mote in it's own sterile eye...
A caveat: I love science. I believe it can save our planet and our species. But I've had scientific friends that were so very sure they knew absolutely everything, never leaving room for Weird Stuff that Just happens sometimes...so I like this song a lot.
