Father-figures...

Most of yesterday I was busy goofing around outside, looking at motorcycles or drinking things in tiki mugs and such. I did spend time talking to my parental units in the morning, though, and wishing them Happy Father's Day...

Father's day for me is a little uncomfortable. It's complicated. I have a biological father who was unkind to my family and who abandoned us financially after the divorce. Recently he has popped up here and there in e-mails, wanting to have some sort of belated relationship, now that all the hard parts of child-rearing are over and taken care of by other people. (Bitter? Moi? Never!) I also have had a stepdad who my brother and I adored to distraction, who did interesting things and was funny and good to my mom, who died when we were young. Even though it's been 32 years since his death, I still miss him terribly sometimes. And for the past 21 years I've had another stepdad, a man who's kind and funny and works hard, a man who helped me move and was with me when I had surgery. He loves to fish and golf, and liked the big pirate flag I got him for his last birthday. We both love Invader Zim, particularly Gir. Until they run out of Invader Zim merchandise, I will gleefully scout out the internet to find things like Gir riding a pig, eating cupcakes and shrieking...because my dad gets me like that...

Yes, my dad. As far as I'm concerned, being a dad is not just a biological accident of fortune. It's a title, a title you have to earn with sweat and blood and tears and fishing lessons. And my stepdad has earned it, and keeps earning it for all these years...