*Inserts caffeine iv drip*
Dec. 6th, 2001 09:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
msfledermausI have a handy tip for all you LJers out there: Never watch the Blair Witch Project with a windstorm outside your window...every time my window creaked I started awake, so I'm a little groggy this morning. Yes, I am stupid. And I did it on purpose, thinking, "Oh, this will be SO much cooler with the outside noise rattling everything!!!" (Repeat after me: I am stupid.) Do not be stupid. Do NOT watch the Blair Witch Project before bed during a windstorm.
Watching the movie, I thought of a bunch of useful things our heroes could have done to make theire stay in Burkittsville more agreeable. I give you:
A LIST OF THINGS TO DO IN THE SPOOOOOOOKY WOODS...
1: Let someone know where you're going, you idjits!!!
2: Bring some chalk, preferably blue or bright yellow, and MARK THE DAMN TREES SO YOU DON'T GET LOST!!!
3: Three words: GPS unit.
4: Bring stuff to make a big fire at night. Preferably gasoline. Maybe those damn spooky stick figures someone thoughtfully left for you...
5: Do not disturb the carefully arranged piles of rocks...Just don't.
6: When someone's going Oogy Boogy in the woods, don't split up and go chasing after it hollering "Hello?!?!! Hello?!?!?" with nothing but a flashlight.
Stay by the nice warm fire so you can see the gibbering fiends!!!
7: The woods can give you everything you need...big rocks, clubs, sharp pokey sticks and other useful spur-of-the-moment weapons. If you're lucky, you can grab a skunk and aim it in the direction of your tormentor/s...
8: If you're stuck in the woods anyway, you may as well take the time to dig a nice pit lined with punji-sticks in front of your tent before you retire for the night.
9: If someone's screaming with the voices of the damned inside an abandoned house, don't yell back...They're screaming for a reason, and that reason might find you tasty and good with ketchup.
10: Did I mention DON'T SPLIT UP AND RUN TOWARDS THE DANGER?!?!?!?!?
Especially in the spooky abandoned house with the scary little kid handprints everywhere?!?!?!?!?
Okay, so this post is a little late to help 2 movies full of scared campers...so sue me.
Watching the movie, I thought of a bunch of useful things our heroes could have done to make theire stay in Burkittsville more agreeable. I give you:
A LIST OF THINGS TO DO IN THE SPOOOOOOOKY WOODS...
1: Let someone know where you're going, you idjits!!!
2: Bring some chalk, preferably blue or bright yellow, and MARK THE DAMN TREES SO YOU DON'T GET LOST!!!
3: Three words: GPS unit.
4: Bring stuff to make a big fire at night. Preferably gasoline. Maybe those damn spooky stick figures someone thoughtfully left for you...
5: Do not disturb the carefully arranged piles of rocks...Just don't.
6: When someone's going Oogy Boogy in the woods, don't split up and go chasing after it hollering "Hello?!?!! Hello?!?!?" with nothing but a flashlight.
Stay by the nice warm fire so you can see the gibbering fiends!!!
7: The woods can give you everything you need...big rocks, clubs, sharp pokey sticks and other useful spur-of-the-moment weapons. If you're lucky, you can grab a skunk and aim it in the direction of your tormentor/s...
8: If you're stuck in the woods anyway, you may as well take the time to dig a nice pit lined with punji-sticks in front of your tent before you retire for the night.
9: If someone's screaming with the voices of the damned inside an abandoned house, don't yell back...They're screaming for a reason, and that reason might find you tasty and good with ketchup.
10: Did I mention DON'T SPLIT UP AND RUN TOWARDS THE DANGER?!?!?!?!?
Especially in the spooky abandoned house with the scary little kid handprints everywhere?!?!?!?!?
Okay, so this post is a little late to help 2 movies full of scared campers...so sue me.
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More good advice
Date: 2001-12-06 08:21 am (UTC)Re: More good advice
Date: 2001-12-06 08:27 am (UTC)Darwinian theory
Date: 2001-12-06 08:29 am (UTC)Re: Darwinian theory
Date: 2001-12-06 09:11 am (UTC)And we might even have found Bigfoot. You never know.
no subject
Date: 2001-12-06 09:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2001-12-06 09:48 am (UTC)G'morning!
no subject
Date: 2001-12-06 09:50 am (UTC)G'mornin'... *waves at you and smiles*
Re:
Date: 2001-12-06 09:57 am (UTC)I'm off to lunchies for a bit...keep making those pointy sticks while I'm gone!!!
no subject
Date: 2001-12-06 11:35 am (UTC)~Virginia, who would want MsEff to be part of the band of lost people in the spooky woods with her.
Re:
Date: 2001-12-06 12:29 pm (UTC)