msfledermaus | bad night, better morning... (Reply)

The thing with my unhappy-about-to-go-into-detox-friend went completley bust. I called her, she asked me to come to her place instead...a half-hour walk. Whn I got there... nobody answered the door. I buzzed. I knoked. I went up the rickty bak stairs, knocking, yelling my friend's name an feeling like an idiot. More bell ringing. Finally, after what felt like a half-hour of this monkey business, I gave up & headed home. I stopped off at the Wedge for some dinner an got accostd by a drunk lady begging for food. I gave up my rice crakers & managed to make it home with the rest of my grocries intact.

I got hom, & of cours the phon rings. "where ar you?"
"I'm home...I tried knockking & ringing and whatnot, weren't you home at all? I even tried yelling your name at the open winows."
"Oh...I thought you were coming later"
"Nooooo....I said I' be there by six, remember?
"Well, an you come over now?"
"What?"
"I could really use a friend right now..."
"Hey now, I alreay walked an hour to get to you an back. If the buses were running , sure fine, but I'm beat. An it's gonna rain, you know?"
"yeah, but I on't want to be alone..."
"I'm really sorry!! I an't!"

An so it went for a while. An I hung up in a bad mood...half annoyance, half guilt, half wanting to be a bttr friend...but I was trying hard to *be* a good friend, dammit. I can't help if I have to o *all* th work.

Somtimes I'm just tired of being needed.