nefarious workplace goings-on...
Jul. 7th, 2004 04:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
msfledermausH'lo, folks...
I've been busy doing The Most Boring Thing Ever...cataloguing what I buy for the Mailroom I work in, where it's located, and how much I have. It's my assignment while the Head Demon is out having cybernetic reconstructive surgery on his ticker....or breast implants, I'm not sure which. I guess I'll find out when he comes back.
Anyway, it's tedious work...and doesn't really say that much about our buying patterns.
Much of the stuff in here is leftovers from projects paid for by other departments, or fluctuates with time, season, or need. The Head Demon "Wants to know what's in all those boxes under my counter"...like I'm hiding Jimmy Hoffa's head in one of them or something.
My storage spaces have been taken away, as well as my lockable closet...I need SOMEwhere to put everything.
Now here's the list I would really love to give, instead of the one I'm currently working on:
WHAT'S IN THE BOXES UNDER THE COUNTER WHERE I WORK...by Ms F. Maus.
1-3: Lots of lots of letterhead we are going to waste like crazy and run out of before the new lettterheads get finished, because we're too cheap to buy what we really need...think of the poor trees. Think of the poor trees mothers....
3-5: Labels and labels and more labels I intend to stick alllll over your office while you're gone, because I know you hate that. And highlighters so I can draw happy faces on each and every damn one of them.
5-7: Assorted parts for the copier that we'll need the minute you tell me to throw them in the trash.
8: Accordion paper for the Bookstore, which I intend to unroll and paint with poster-paints using my thrashing, half-naked body...there's gotta be a grant in there, somewhere.
9: Storage for old, flammable carbons of the order's I've made this fiscal year...Oh, look! a book of matches!!! Nyaaahaha!!!!!
10: The Box Where I Hide All the Good Pens So You'll Never Find Them, Dammit....
11-15 Iraq's fabled WMD's...Just to spite everybody.
16: A Fire Extinguisher...see #9 .
17-19: Different copier toners...which will be used in a massive Toner-Fight-Cage-Match in your office while you're gone...because I know you hate that, too.
20: Cthuhlu, Yog-Sothoth, a lawn gnome and a six-pack of Shuggoths. Because I can.
21: A rolled-up Twister board with a picture of David Hasselhoff drawn on it. And a dozen coconut bras....
....See, he was right in guessing I was up to No Good.
Say it, you know you wanna. Bad Maus. Bad, bad Maus....
I've been busy doing The Most Boring Thing Ever...cataloguing what I buy for the Mailroom I work in, where it's located, and how much I have. It's my assignment while the Head Demon is out having cybernetic reconstructive surgery on his ticker....or breast implants, I'm not sure which. I guess I'll find out when he comes back.
Anyway, it's tedious work...and doesn't really say that much about our buying patterns.
Much of the stuff in here is leftovers from projects paid for by other departments, or fluctuates with time, season, or need. The Head Demon "Wants to know what's in all those boxes under my counter"...like I'm hiding Jimmy Hoffa's head in one of them or something.
My storage spaces have been taken away, as well as my lockable closet...I need SOMEwhere to put everything.
Now here's the list I would really love to give, instead of the one I'm currently working on:
WHAT'S IN THE BOXES UNDER THE COUNTER WHERE I WORK...by Ms F. Maus.
1-3: Lots of lots of letterhead we are going to waste like crazy and run out of before the new lettterheads get finished, because we're too cheap to buy what we really need...think of the poor trees. Think of the poor trees mothers....
3-5: Labels and labels and more labels I intend to stick alllll over your office while you're gone, because I know you hate that. And highlighters so I can draw happy faces on each and every damn one of them.
5-7: Assorted parts for the copier that we'll need the minute you tell me to throw them in the trash.
8: Accordion paper for the Bookstore, which I intend to unroll and paint with poster-paints using my thrashing, half-naked body...there's gotta be a grant in there, somewhere.
9: Storage for old, flammable carbons of the order's I've made this fiscal year...Oh, look! a book of matches!!! Nyaaahaha!!!!!
10: The Box Where I Hide All the Good Pens So You'll Never Find Them, Dammit....
11-15 Iraq's fabled WMD's...Just to spite everybody.
16: A Fire Extinguisher...see #9 .
17-19: Different copier toners...which will be used in a massive Toner-Fight-Cage-Match in your office while you're gone...because I know you hate that, too.
20: Cthuhlu, Yog-Sothoth, a lawn gnome and a six-pack of Shuggoths. Because I can.
21: A rolled-up Twister board with a picture of David Hasselhoff drawn on it. And a dozen coconut bras....
....See, he was right in guessing I was up to No Good.
Say it, you know you wanna. Bad Maus. Bad, bad Maus....
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 09:16 pm (UTC)http://www.logicalcreativity.com/jon/plush/01.html
no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 09:22 pm (UTC)yes I am.
Love me some plushy Cthuhlu, oh yes I do.
no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 10:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-08 05:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 11:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-08 05:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-09 04:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 11:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-08 05:51 pm (UTC)*whap whap whap*
Bad Elder God!!
no subject
Date: 2004-07-08 11:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-08 05:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-09 01:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-09 05:53 pm (UTC)*grins evilly*
Now, where's that limburger?!?!?
no subject
Date: 2004-07-10 02:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-12 01:42 pm (UTC)Hehheh.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!
*ahem*
sorry, too much coffee there...