*Inserts caffeine iv drip*

I have a handy tip for all you LJers out there: Never watch the Blair Witch Project with a windstorm outside your window...every time my window creaked I started awake, so I'm a little groggy this morning. Yes, I am stupid. And I did it on purpose, thinking, "Oh, this will be SO much cooler with the outside noise rattling everything!!!" (Repeat after me: I am stupid.) Do not be stupid. Do NOT watch the Blair Witch Project before bed during a windstorm.

Watching the movie, I thought of a bunch of useful things our heroes could have done to make theire stay in Burkittsville more agreeable. I give you:

A LIST OF THINGS TO DO IN THE SPOOOOOOOKY WOODS...

1: Let someone know where you're going, you idjits!!!
2: Bring some chalk, preferably blue or bright yellow, and MARK THE DAMN TREES SO YOU DON'T GET LOST!!!
3: Three words: GPS unit.
4: Bring stuff to make a big fire at night. Preferably gasoline. Maybe those damn spooky stick figures someone thoughtfully left for you...
5: Do not disturb the carefully arranged piles of rocks...Just don't.
6: When someone's going Oogy Boogy in the woods, don't split up and go chasing after it hollering "Hello?!?!! Hello?!?!?" with nothing but a flashlight.
Stay by the nice warm fire so you can see the gibbering fiends!!!
7: The woods can give you everything you need...big rocks, clubs, sharp pokey sticks and other useful spur-of-the-moment weapons. If you're lucky, you can grab a skunk and aim it in the direction of your tormentor/s...
8: If you're stuck in the woods anyway, you may as well take the time to dig a nice pit lined with punji-sticks in front of your tent before you retire for the night.
9: If someone's screaming with the voices of the damned inside an abandoned house, don't yell back...They're screaming for a reason, and that reason might find you tasty and good with ketchup.
10: Did I mention DON'T SPLIT UP AND RUN TOWARDS THE DANGER?!?!?!?!?
Especially in the spooky abandoned house with the scary little kid handprints everywhere?!?!?!?!?

Okay, so this post is a little late to help 2 movies full of scared campers...so sue me.

woohoo!

I am a Chieftan Carved out of Cheese. My raspberry motivation slides transparently beyond the elongated prune. I dig widely upon the bus of my leather mangroves. Hygienic cameras pardon my curly white atmosphere. Grant the wise barnacle, forsooth? The Utterly Surreal Test

Too cool!!! Uh, I mean...fish!!!! Fish!!!!

Bread!

A coworker just brought me a loaf of homemade sour-dough bread, all wrapped up nice in a towel. Wow!!! Thank you, dude!!!!

Ms Eff, the owner of fine bready goodness.

Ms Eff's Pretentious Poetry Corner...

Ode to MajikGrove

Oh Sweet MG,
You are to me,
a beacon of light
In a cold icy sea.
Oh Grovie, My dearie,
I'm never so bleary
when I peek at your icon
and see your grin cheery.
When I'm feeling the goof,
You're right there to help me,
all covered in Foof,
or in sheep-suit all woolly.

And when I can't find a rhyme for "Schpedoinkal"
You think I am swell anyway....
So my sweet MajikGrove, I say this is your poem,
a gift for a girl who can always shine up my whole day.....

*Twitch twitch*

...My blood sugar's low again. My own damn fault; I skipped lunch and ate pretzels.
And people keep wanting me to do things for them. At least wait until the juice kicks in, willya?

I'll be better pretty quick, but I think some rest tonight is a good idea.

Ms Eff, scolding myself a little.