Ladeeez and Gentlemen.....

[msfledermaus]

*Cues drums*

Hilltop has given me an idea...a hideous, horrible, extremely amusing idea...Yes indeed he has..."Nono, don't throw out the hideous denim granny vest with studs and rhinestones--Make it into something reallyawful and give it as a PRIZE!"

So be it.

I, Duchessa Contessa Marchionessa Baronessa von Fledermaus, (Ms),Queen of Mausiland and parts of Minneapolis because the crows like me, do hereby declare:
The Hideous Pillow Contest!

Yes, You, dear Mausketteer, you can win the Coveted Hideous Pillow, covered in sequins and geegaws and tchotckes and whatnots...all for YOU YOU YOU!! (As soon as I make it...which shouldn't take very long, considering.) Fight like lemurs! Grab like Gibbons!
Claw your way to the top of the glitter-paint pile to win this handcrafed mausi Treasure for your home, office or padded cell! All you have to do is:

1: Tell me Why you think you deserve the Hideous Pillow...in all the detail you can muster.

2: Tell other people why they should let YOU have the pillow, not them...

3: Tell me what kind of home it's going to, and how you will care for it.

Be long-winded, be cutthroat, heck, even be honest! But you have a better chance of winning if you make me squirt milk out my nose laughing. I'll judge the contestants on these three criteria, and then pose them one last teeny essay question to pick the winner...while I put acid-green yarn tassels on this..this THING.

Ready, set, GO!

Comments

[cynnerth.livejournal.com]

What?! No contestants yet?? I don't think I should enter because I can't afford to take on clutter...errrr...I mean "lovely prizes" when I'm trying to clean out my house for sale. I'm officially disqualifying myself. But I'd love to see all the other responses!

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

Hmmm...so far I have only Khisanth...she may get it by default, though her comment was indeed funny...

[sylvidoptera.livejournal.com]

1: I, Lady Khisanth D'Ariat, Queen of Nyte Waters, do hereby deserve said Hideous Pillow as a gift of friendship between two kingdoms. Your offering to my collection of the bizarre will cement our friendship and make for long-lasting peace between us, as well as a nifty start to trade between our peoples.

2: Everyone else should let me have this pillow because if they don't, I shall ban them from my borders and have my subjects throw soggy bananas at them. I am a very sore loser. ;)

3: The Hideous Pillow shall, of course, be housed in its own lovely pedastal. It will be treasured by my cats as an object of curiousity and unrequited longing. (Specially with those tassels!) People shall pass it by at least once a day and take a good hard look and say "My gods, what is that thing?!" before being awed and overwhelmed by its curiously horrible beauty.

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

So far, O queen, you may get your hearts desire, since no one else seems to want the thing...I'll leave this open for a couple of days just for laughs, and then go ahead and mail me your addy, Missy!

[cynnerth.livejournal.com]

*wild applause*
Excellent, your Excellency!

[sylvidoptera.livejournal.com]

[curtsies regally]

[bingman.livejournal.com]

I had thought about entering this contest but instead concede victory to khisanth, you my lady, are welcome to walk about my bingdom as you like. You would make a formidable enemy or a powerful ally, I choose the later.


...plus I don't plan on being a soggy banana target AGAIN!!!

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

*snicker*

Ohhh dear...all these bananas potentially flying because of my Horrible pillow contest...i should be ashamed, really. *Wheeze*

Well.

[sylvidoptera.livejournal.com]

[grins] A wise choice, my dear. I would much rather have an ally than a target. ;)

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

Awwright, ma'am,...Addy time! Send me an e-mail, and give me the end of the week to complete the er....monstrosity that is soon to be That Scary Pillow. *rubs hands with glee and cackles*

[bingman.livejournal.com]

Just for fun, here is what I was thinking for an entry in the HPC (hideous pillow contest). I was trying to find a voice. I was thinking about a belligerent guy ala Frances in Stripes, “Any of you ….*looks around the room*…. whackos, touches me or my pillow……*looks all in the eye*…. I’ll kill ya”. But that didn’t seem right then I thought about the pitiful guy, “My wife lost her job, I have two kids. A pillow like that might feed a family of four for a week….” Then I was thinking a total suck-up ala Eddie Haskil:

*Flashes shady smile*
Why Ms Maus you are looking especially beautiful today. Is that a new top, stunning, absolutely stunning. It really brings out the color of your eyes. Boy, Ms. Maus, I could go on and on all day about how great you look but let me talk a bit about that gorgeous pillow my eyes stumbled apon.

1. Ms. Maus, I don’t deserve this pillow. It is much too nice for a lug like me. A pillow like this deserves to be in a museum for all to behold its majesty. *shady smile and tilts head*

2. I could never tell the other people they don’t deserve the pillow, Ms Maus, that just wouldn’t be right. *puts hand to heart* I’m all about sharing.

3.Well, Ms Maus, if you were so inclined as to send such a pillow to me I couldn’t refuse, even though I am so unworthy. I guess I would probably use it *pauses looks up then back to Ms Maus* when I am helping out at the local soup kitchen. I would let the poor souls use it to rest there weary bodies. *looks down, then up, then down, when Ms Maus isn’t looking elbows friend and makes silent laughing gesture, then looks down again quickly*

Once again this is not an entry (lest we forget about possible soggy banana lobbing!!!) this is just for fun. Of course if you were to accept this as an entry, what could I do? ;)

Great googaly Moogaly!!!

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

*doubles over in laughter for about 10 minutes*

*wipes eyes...*

Good heavens...something like that deserves something, I think, even if it isn't THE hideous pillow. I may have to make a smaller hideous pillow out of the scraps from lady Khisanth's pillow, and send it to you as well. so there--No fighting, no banana-tossing and all will be will in the Kingdoms of LJ...

When I'm finished I'll ask you for an address, mister...be warned!

Re: Great googaly Moogaly!!!

[bingman.livejournal.com]

SWEET!!!

Thank you! You are indeed a wise and benevolent contest runner! That would be great; my eight year old daughter has a bunch of dolls and stuffed animals that are in dyer need of a cool hideous mini-pillow. :)

I think I will call it my Mr. Congeniality Award. :)

Re: Great googaly Moogaly!!!

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

Excellent!

A second pillow it is, sir! I should have them both done by the weekend:)

Re: Great googaly Moogaly!!!

[sylvidoptera.livejournal.com]

Peace is very much goodness, yes. :)

Re: Great googaly Moogaly!!!

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

All we is sayink...is give them pillows a chaaaance...:)

Re: Great googaly Moogaly!!!

[bingman.livejournal.com]

Make pillows not war. ;)

[sylvidoptera.livejournal.com]

hahahhahahhahahhahahaha [clutches her tummy] hahahhahahahhahahahahahahah

I'm glad she's making you one too. That was just too good! :)

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

I know, it just deserved something, didn't it?
I couldn't just ignore that!!!

[bingman.livejournal.com]

Thank you
*deep kingly bow*

[banana.livejournal.com]

I did an entry for this, and then forgot to submit. I do so hope it's too late...

His Most Excellent Majesty J, King of Banamia, Emperor of Foppishness and Queen of the Scene, respectfully requests the pleasure of cosying up to your pillow.

:: drum machine ::

But when there's Maus in tha House
Who gives good pillow
Kings of ev'ry nation
Get da comfy incl'nation

Feelin' kinda bitter
On their stone cold throne
Need some sequins an' glitter
Where they park their tail bone

:: scratching on the decks ::

I'm gonna hassle for tha tassles with tha aristocrats
Beatin' excellent Contessas and tha Lesser Duchessas
'Cause they don't know a pillow from tha Texas Armadillo
But I'll take it on vacation to tha beaches on Brazil. Oh...

...I know I'm tha one to give tha pillow care
A millionaire affair
No pretender can compare
So you know to fling da bling to Banamia's King!

:: trumpet fanfare ::

Pillows of the world, come to me and I will lay down my burdens on you. My friends, let us sing Hallelujah to the great pillows of our forefathers, handed down with much begatting. And let us bask in the magnificence of the cushion, casting out the false prophet, Futon.

For, from a soft reclining position, we will rise up, stonger and more glorious in our majesty, with the sparkling light of glitter radiant beneath us...

Feel the healing power of cheeses!

I am the King of Banamia!
HEAR ME PLUMP CUSHIONS!

Actually, I don't really want the pillow. You should give it to khisanth.
In fact, you never even saw me here, right? I only came because I heard about the banana-lobbing.

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

*collapses in a heap of giggles*

Maaan.....that so would have won....*wipes laughter tears from eyes*

You're lucky you're getting knitted stuff in the mail soon anyway. You deserve something for all that wonderful yellow drama!!

[banana.livejournal.com]

> knitted stuff in the mail
Woo-hoo! Khisanth gets a horrible pillow and I get knitted stuff. Keewwl!

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

See? It was good you let Khisanth have the pillow:)

[banana.livejournal.com]

Someone has to post a pic of this pillow...

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

Maybe Khisanth will?