Sunrise, sunset...and rambles on the nature of the subconscious...

[msfledermaus]

Usually my journal entries have a lot to do with the time of day...In the mornings, when I usually post I'm newly-fed and watered, the sun is coming up, and the caffeine from whatever coffee or tea I'm drinking starts to do it's thing. It's hard to be profound first thing in the morning:) So since it was later in the day and I was feeling a bit more introspective,I thought I'd try a night post for a change...


Mostly I've been thinking of changes. Even though I'm pretty happy in general with the new things in my life, drastic change still shakes me up pretty thoroughly...like a little snowglobe person who keeps yelling, "Knock that off!" every time the world goes round and round. I'm happy, but not really comfortable yet. This will take time. I keep reminding myself to be patient with the process, that even though it's spring it takes a while for a new garden to actually bloom...stuff like that.
What's really odd about the new job for me has a lot to do with something my brain does pretty regularly...
(And I know other people do this too, in some form or another; every time the subject comes up it's amazing how many people have the same thing happening.) I have always dreamed bits and pieces of my future.
Often the far future, years from anything that has to do with the time period I'm in when I have the dreams. The dreams are usually about my surroundings--bits of architecture, rooms, the way the light falls near a doorway with a certain layout, shops and fields and the views out of windows. When I have the actual dreams, my sleeping mind often tries to make sense of whatever it is I'm seeing, and it's often a hash of an actual place I run into later on and various funny plot-points my mind makes up as I go...sorting this stuff out is sometimes next to impossible, until I finally get to wherever I saw in my dreams.

The more I'm at the new Museum where I work, the more I recognize things I've been dreaming about for years and years. There's a courtyard with an open-air roofed terrace-thing that I realize I'd been sketching for a 6 month period about 5 years ago. I kept dreaming about visiting a specific gallery over and over, and last week I just got done training for that floor. Yeah, it's a public place and I had visited it before, but some of the dreams were about parts of the basement, which isn't open to the public and I hadn't been anywhere near before two weeks ago. It's a little spooky, except the feelings I had about the dreams were usually pretty positive--In one I put a big candy-and-tea-shop in a gallery because that was how I felt about being there. Heh, it's part of why I decided to make a jump to something so different from what I'd been doing for years...I trusted the dreams. Sometimes I believe my subconscious is a hell of a lot smarter than my waking mind. I just hope it knows what it's doing.

It's hard enough to trust. It's harder still to trust something so tenuous.
But it feels like I'm doing something...helpful, good for me. Possibly very nourishing...
I worry a bit about not having much weekend-style time off, for a small personal handful of reasons.
Again...I'm trying to let grow into whatever they're going to be. And trying to trust that the quiet voice in the back of my dreams knows where the hell it's going...


So there you are.

Comments

[aliaspitfire.livejournal.com]

That is fascinating. Good for you for having a handle on listening to the quiet voice!

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

Well, if I *don't* listen to the quiet voice, I'm usually sorry for it later.
Trial and error makes me listen these days:)

[buscemi.livejournal.com]

Any job that opens up that creative part of yourself must be pretty wonderful. :)

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

I'm starting to feel more comfortable there, even with the deja-vu's popping up all over the place:)

[low-delta.livejournal.com]

Sometimes when I have deja vu, I recognize it from dreams that I've had. It happens most often during times of great change.

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

*nods*
Me too...

I like it that at least when we're asleep we can see dimly into our own future sometimes:)

[serendipity.livejournal.com]

The night post thing worked quite well!

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

I think so too...i was boring the socks off myself in the morning:P You guys can only hear about my breakfast so many times without shrieking and running away...

[serendipity.livejournal.com]

LOL! But now you can start writing about your dinners and evening snacks!

Anyway, I have to zoom through morning posts so fast its not really fair to the poster.

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

Ooh, I hope so....the new job sounds very cool. I'm so glad you got this!

[ravengirl.livejournal.com]

i've had those feelings too,
esp. about "important" things.
a trip to ireland, a place i'd never been,
where i kept doing things in places
i knew i hadn't done or seen before.

i'm happy for you! there's nothing to do
but to sail and enjoy the trip
always keeping your eyes on the stars~

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

I do my best to trust...and try not to second-guess it TOO much. Heh.

yeah, dreaming about trips is really fun:) I dreamed about Japan years before I ended up there. I bet the Ireland dreams were really cool! Did they come close to the reality of being there?

[ravengirl.livejournal.com]

i didn't express that in my previous comment, but i meant to!
that was just it- the imaginings were dreamy
and the reality of it was the same~
those deja vu feelings that make us feel like old souls.
also, i had long-imagined that i would somehow feel "at home" there
and i did, completely. i regret now that i didn't move there
in 1999. it was inconvenient for me at the time
but now that their economy is booming, i can't afford it! :(

seize your dreams, i say.

[i.livejournal.com]

great post. i envy your ability to remember your dreams. on rare occasion i'll remember one for long enough to tell someone, but the only ones i've remembered for any length of time are two serial nightmares i had as a kid.

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

I think it has something to do with how much you sleep at night or something...I know if I'm not getting enough sleep I don't remember my dreams at all.

I'll just have to share my dreams, then, so you don't go without:)

[sirreal13.livejournal.com]

You got the coolest dreams! Lack of weekends as one thing I can say will change in a month when I graduate. at least I hope that's true. Now you can party on Sunday night, when all your friends have already spent their weekend money. You could save some serious coin, Missy {{{Mausi}}}

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

Maybe, but if I ever want to see my friends again, I'd better get used to getting up the next morning to go to workies:P

[banana.livejournal.com]

I once dreamed I was on TV with the Beatles in black and white, but the time transfer was the other way round.

:: goes off to post about it ::

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

Now *that* is seriously cool!

*rushes off to read post*