A handy list of things to remember...

[msfledermaus]

I was inspired by Annablume, who was having adventures including insects and apparently, poking...


There are many many simple rules to the world...These are just a few:

Fire: Don't get it on you.
Water: Don't try to breathe it.
Dirt: Is not a substitute for chocolate mousse.
Wasps nest: Never poke with stick. Ever. EVER.
Crazy People: Do not argue with them. If you win, you become their Queen.
Stuff: If it doesn't belong to you, don't touch it.
Knives: Generally don't make good Lawn Darts. Don't ask how I know.
Caffeine: Munching the beans or grounds outta the bag is a symptom of a problem...

Anybody care to add their own? I'm sure I missed a lot of them...

Comments

[anarchknits.livejournal.com]

:o) That made me smile....

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

Glad to hear it. I know I'll have many more in future:)

[banana.livejournal.com]

Here's some I can offer from experience.

Car driving: Don't go to sleep.
Scorpions: It's the black ones that will kill you.*
Computers: Hitting the keys really hard doesn't make the text bold.

* I was told this by a Turkish hotelier, so if a brown scorpion kills you, take the matter up with him.

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

heeheehee!!! They're perfect!!!

I'm grateful I live Up North, where we have no scorpions at all. The things that can kill you here are blizzards, idiocy, Evercleer, and too much Tater-Tot Hotdish...

[banana.livejournal.com]

I think this was the hotel:

(image fixed - whoops)

I don't *think* you could be killed by Evercleer or Tater-Tot Hotdish here. What are they?

What a beautiful hotel!!!

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

That must have been an awesome trip. What a beautiful view of the sea!!!

As for the Minnesotan Dangers,actually you can die by both these items:

Evercleer: Is a grain alcohol that Minnesotans have to trek to Wisconsin to purchase. It's like vodka, but tasteless and strong--very very VERY strong.
I'm not sure of the proof, but it's gut-twistingly high. I remember in high school various groups of kids getting wasted in the cornfields drinking Evercleer with whatever mixers they can find. Too much (and it's pretty easy to drink too much) will make you REALLY sick, or even kill you if you're careless, just like most high-test alcohol...

Tater-Tot-Hot-Dish: The staple of the true Minnesotan diet in the winter, involving at least 4 of the following items:
Hamburger
Tater-Tots (Little fried potato chunks)
Cream of chicken soup
Cream of mushroom soup
French-fried onions from a little can
Peas or green beans if you want to pretend there's nutrition in it somewhere...

It's usually a layered casserole baked in the oven, and even though in theory you can choke on a burning hot tater-tot if you're not careful, the real danger is eating too much of it and lying on the couch...you don't die, you just kind of want to...

Re: What a beautiful hotel!!!

[banana.livejournal.com]

It was a good holiday, but we were both extremely ill there, and then I found a scorpion in my clothes. The bar was on the roof and we were up there once when dolphins started leaping into the air out in the bay.

Re: What a beautiful hotel!!!

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

You had dolphins?!?! How cool!!! Turkey sounds like a much cooler vacation spot than I ever thought it could be...

I hope it was the non-lethal scorpin in your clothes...that's why the turkish hotelier was comforting you, right?

Re: What a beautiful hotel!!!

[banana.livejournal.com]

> cooler
Yes!

> non-lethal
Yes!

[roadskoller.livejournal.com]

turkeys: aren't for you eye

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

I'm so adding that one!!

Turkeys: Do not smash them into your face at 50 miles an hour!!!
This also goes for deer, raccoon, moose and skunk...

[sirreal13.livejournal.com]

Wasps nest: Never poke with stick. Ever. EVER.
words every President should live by (hear that GWB?)

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

He shoulda listened to meeeee, but did he? did he?!?! Hah?!?!HAH!! nooooooo, he just keeps a pokin' that stupid nest and tries to say the stings don't hurt. Bastid...

[rdsc.livejournal.com]

Paper: Grows on trees, has a tendency towards being flat. Treat it with respect.
Scissors: Pointy things with various uses, unknown by Neanderthals.
Rock: Generally hard.

;)

*Snicker*

[msfledermaus.livejournal.com]

So, what did you get, rock, paper or scissors?
*makes hand movements*
I got Rock. Respect mah authoritay!